Praying...

I have been praying alot lately. I have been praying for guidence and for God to wash away all this bitterness from me. I think it is working so far. 

I have been thinking about about why i think into things too much. I just have had past experiences that have caused me to double back and look at everything again and again. I know i need to trust the ones i love more, but i just can't help but feel like i am going to get myself hurt if i open up too much. I think it is because i don't have work to cover my mind with like a safety blanket, everything is just there for me to see and look into more than i should. 
I just don't like it when people sugar coat things too much when i ask for the truth. My mother use to do that thinking that it was for the best. 

Ugh, that and I am going to work on quitting smoking come New Year's, that and hitting the gym hard, getting knee deep in school and looking hardcore for work. I have a Palm now and i am trying to stay on top of it to help me reach my goals. Also, i will be getting a unlimited month bus pass, so watch out RTA, here I come.

Photos

I just can't stop taking them. I don't know what it is. I just hope it's not like the other things that i have become obsessed with in the past, i soon give them up and forget about them. I want this one to stick because it makes me happy when i go out and take them.

Wish me luck.

And they took off the restriction! I am so happy. ^^

Blonde

All copyright on the bottle goes to Fiddler's Green Brewing Co. As for the Photo, all rights belong to me.

Nothingness...

I don't really know what I am feeling right now. It's to mixed up to express or put into words. If I had to pick something at this moment I would say numb and empty.
I keep hating myself for feeling this way, like "Stop that Sarah, some how you have always managed." And the good old saying, "This too shall pass." But this still feels like the end for me. I keep trying to push and I get nothing back. There is no give to this feeling that I am trapped in.
I know this sounds awfully emo, but I think we all have to have our emo moments some more than others.
I just feel like I have failed my loved ones and myself. That there is nothing that I can do for them. Everything I try is fruitless. I pray for this feeling to stop but then I just feel even worse.
I know I need to snap myself out of it but it is like I am stuck on repeat. I think I have to close myself off from the world for a bit, but even that is impossible right now.
I just want to sit in the back seat of my mind and just watch my life through my eyes like a bad movie.

This is starting to sound like a sappy emo story.
I'll type more later...

Cool!

I just found out that when your earplugs get unplugged, or in my case ripped out, of the ipod the music pauses. Haha that is sweet. Sometimes I am glad that I am a klutz.

Worried...

Well now I am alittle worried about this spam thing. I keep thinking that the admins aren't going to listen to what I have to say and then I will be banned forever. But I didn't do anything wrong so that can't be right. Bah I don't know, I just got back from the gym and out of a hot shower, so right now I am all toasty and tired.

So goodnight and I will type more tomorrow if I can remember.

Spam?

I can't believe someone reported this as a spam blog.
I am sorry that I forget to post here sometimes. I have have a million other things that I am doing, and sometimes I just don't know what to talk about.
I haven't posted advertisements or anything like that so whoever reported me screw off. > O

Start.

Ummm first post in this thing. And i am wondering how to get other people to join, because comments are always nice, yeah? lol