Saturday, May 22, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Me
Well here I am in the single life yet again. By my own stupid decision. I was scared to commit fully and hurt people. I guess in the end you really get what you asked for.
There is just so much I want to do with my life. I honestly don't even know where I want to go in life yet. And he did. It was scary. It is scary. I am 23 going on 24 here soon and I have nothing so show for it yet. I just feel so unaccomplished, so alone. But I only have myself to blame I suppose. I don't know what has been stopping me from just reaching out and grasping my dreams. But I suppose one has to figure out what your dreams and aspirations are.
Well here is to hoping that I can slap myself awake and get a move on. I am on a mission to find myself by myself.
Sarah
There is just so much I want to do with my life. I honestly don't even know where I want to go in life yet. And he did. It was scary. It is scary. I am 23 going on 24 here soon and I have nothing so show for it yet. I just feel so unaccomplished, so alone. But I only have myself to blame I suppose. I don't know what has been stopping me from just reaching out and grasping my dreams. But I suppose one has to figure out what your dreams and aspirations are.
Well here is to hoping that I can slap myself awake and get a move on. I am on a mission to find myself by myself.
Sarah
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Worth it.
Life just keeps on going. No matter what happens, who we loose or how much pain we are in. Time stops for no one. In this crazy on going cycle one can only hope that the Big Man Upstairs has a reason for it all. A reason to make it all worth it.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Stressed out and more babbling...
Why am I stressed?
1. School started and I am taking 15 units.
2 night classes, and two online. Taking the last english class that i need to take and the Professor said that it was going to be front heavy so joy... i just hope it dies down in October.
2. Work starts on Monday.
On this note, I work at a christian school were i am something like that black sheep of the crowd. Tattoos and piercings are kind of a dead ringer for different. I get asked about them all the time like its a condition. It's not a diease people really.
At work i will have to cover them up, which i am fine with, the kids that know me will ask questions though.
The reasons that i keep these additions to my body is because it makes me feel like i am witnessing. When people outisde of the church ask me about them and i tell them about them and that i am a active member in my church they are like, Wow. It's like i am letting people know that it is okay if you have tattoos and piercings, God still loves you. I can't quite put it into words yet but i am getting there.
3. I am not going to have a social life at all when works starts.
I work from 8:30 to 2pm and then go to night classes. Whee. Suck it up Sarah, suck it up.
4. I have to get alot of things prepared for the bake sale that we are doing to help raise money for the Susan G. Komen run.
Jewelry, jam and baked goods, check. Head screwed on? Not so check.
Side note: As i type this i feel much better and then much worse for complaining. But it's a blog, my blog, and that is what i am using it for at this moment. Muahaha.
I have so many things swimming around in my head and so many things just sitting there at the top of water slide titter-tottering on the edge ready to slam me in the face. Like a big bully laughing at you because he knows what he is about to do and you don't have the slightest clue, like a-duh.
I need to pray more. I try to give it all to God but i am so use to working things out on my own and just carrying it all that i forget that there is someone there to help me. "No God i am greedy with my stress and woes. You can't have any, neeneer." Really weird huh?
1. School started and I am taking 15 units.
2 night classes, and two online. Taking the last english class that i need to take and the Professor said that it was going to be front heavy so joy... i just hope it dies down in October.
2. Work starts on Monday.
On this note, I work at a christian school were i am something like that black sheep of the crowd. Tattoos and piercings are kind of a dead ringer for different. I get asked about them all the time like its a condition. It's not a diease people really.
At work i will have to cover them up, which i am fine with, the kids that know me will ask questions though.
The reasons that i keep these additions to my body is because it makes me feel like i am witnessing. When people outisde of the church ask me about them and i tell them about them and that i am a active member in my church they are like, Wow. It's like i am letting people know that it is okay if you have tattoos and piercings, God still loves you. I can't quite put it into words yet but i am getting there.
3. I am not going to have a social life at all when works starts.
I work from 8:30 to 2pm and then go to night classes. Whee. Suck it up Sarah, suck it up.
4. I have to get alot of things prepared for the bake sale that we are doing to help raise money for the Susan G. Komen run.
Jewelry, jam and baked goods, check. Head screwed on? Not so check.
Side note: As i type this i feel much better and then much worse for complaining. But it's a blog, my blog, and that is what i am using it for at this moment. Muahaha.
I have so many things swimming around in my head and so many things just sitting there at the top of water slide titter-tottering on the edge ready to slam me in the face. Like a big bully laughing at you because he knows what he is about to do and you don't have the slightest clue, like a-duh.
I need to pray more. I try to give it all to God but i am so use to working things out on my own and just carrying it all that i forget that there is someone there to help me. "No God i am greedy with my stress and woes. You can't have any, neeneer." Really weird huh?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Just thinking that I need to get somethings organized.
So it is becoming painfully obvious that I can not keep track of my schedule in my head without:
1. Giving myself a total headache.
2. Zoning in and out trying to remember everything.
3. Having that funny feeling that you get when you know you are missing something but can't remember what it was at all.
4. Being very moody and irritable.
And the list can go on.
I need my planner from the College like ASAP, but they are not handing them out till Monday. Which brings me back to the waiting game, which drives me more insane, which makes me want a cigarette, which I am trying to quit. ... Sigh...
It's like organization is my fix now, but I refuse it for some reason.
Small steps Sarah, small baby steps.
1. Giving myself a total headache.
2. Zoning in and out trying to remember everything.
3. Having that funny feeling that you get when you know you are missing something but can't remember what it was at all.
4. Being very moody and irritable.
And the list can go on.
I need my planner from the College like ASAP, but they are not handing them out till Monday. Which brings me back to the waiting game, which drives me more insane, which makes me want a cigarette, which I am trying to quit. ... Sigh...
It's like organization is my fix now, but I refuse it for some reason.
Small steps Sarah, small baby steps.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
